 The truth is I was surprised to find out that there was something scientific wrong with Eric. And I was shocked that it had a name.
I had secretly thought that his problems were my fault, and if only I had been making ABC photo books for Eric like I had for Paul, Eric would have been reading already. I had been so proud of myself for not comparing him to Paul. But I thought Paul was a genius, so Eric must just be average. And I was proud of myself for accepting that! But now I had to admit that Paul might be average and Eric was, perhaps, below average.
Had I lowered my expectations too much?
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 Now I had a new project: researching Auditory Processing Disorders. I found lots of support and information from well-meaning friends who shared stories of their special needs children. Wait, I have a special needs child? Yes I do.
The disorder is easy to misdiagnose and often confused with other delays and processing disorders.
APD is not like ADD. Eric never had a problem with paying attention. It was not that he was easily distracted. If anything, he paid too much attention to the wrong thing. He simply was not aware that what he was doing was not what he was supposed to be doing.
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 Among peers for the first time, Eric settled in quickly at his new preschool. They were all high-energy boys who shared his enthusiasm and his sense of humor.
What a change!
But some things had not. He was still easily frustrated, but at least he was in the right environment with a lot more support and a lot less pressure. His love of books resurfaced and without the academic expectations he was learning more each day.
After a month or two, I was feeling pretty proud of myself. I was back into my daily workout routine and had a great regular group of moms who joined me for regular hikes and coffee breaks.
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 I was ambivalent about pulling Eric out of kindergarten. On the one hand, I could see how much he was struggling. But he was struggling with things that I thought were developmental and I felt like he was so ready to learn. There is a big developmental leap between five and six years old, and I believed that Eric would catch up to the other kids soon enough.
Unfortunately his teacher thought Eric’s issues were behavioral. This is an important difference. When he didn’t complete a task, she believed he was not paying attention or following directions. Or she maintained that he was misbehaving.
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 After the first month of school, I still wasn’t sure how Eric was doing in kindergarten. He no longer complained daily about attending school (as in, “What? We have to go back to dat school place again?”), and I finally stopped getting bad news daily. I actually thought we were headed forward.
At our goal setting conference, the school principal greeted us along with Eric’s teacher.
“We must be in trouble.” I joked half-heartedly. Nobody laughed.
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 In the Kindergarten Chronicles, Cathy talks about the concerns and obstacles of sending her sons to school. This is the fifth installment. Read the first.
Three weeks after Eric turned five, I escorted him to his first kindergarten class. We had stopped by the school the day before so he could meet his teacher. He shook her hand and looked her in the eye and smiled. I had high hopes that this veteran kindergarten teacher with her coordinated outfits and old school methods would encourage his love of learning.
I managed to get a big hug goodbye from Eric and I raced off to meet my girlfriends for coffee.
At the end of the day the teacher gave everybody the same warm smile. “See you tomorrow!”
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 In the Kindergarten Chronicles, Cathy talks about the concerns and obstacles of sending her sons to school. This is the fourth installment. Read the first.
Is it better to expect the worst and never be disappointed but sometimes pleasantly surprised, or to hope for the best and try not to be bummed out when things don’t work out?
The summer did not start off well in spite of my optimism. Paul got a bee sting at the first camp, which I’m sure I will be hearing about for years. Eric got sick at the second camp where Paul lost the backpack filled with their extra clothes. Then Eric got kicked out of the third camp. Not the summer I had envisioned for any of us.
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 In the Kindergarten Chronicles, Cathy talks about the concerns and obstacles of sending her sons to school. This is the third installment. Read the first.
Ah, March, almost Spring. Like any good Marin Mom I was signing my children up for summer camp. Three months away and yet I feel panicked. When I left Eric at the co-op last summer he wouldn’t get out of the car.
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In the Kindergarten Chronicles, Cathy talks about the concerns and obstacles of sending her sons to school. This is the second installment. Read the first.
One thing I valued about our co-op preschool was that it was a great play-based environment. It’s in a little cottage, and each room is its own little world. The science room has fish and guinea pigs along with magnifiers for studying shells and puzzles of every size. The playhouse room contains a kitchen and dress-up fare. The big room has a piano, blocks and trains, plus a sand table and bookcases full of books. The kitchen had a ready-to-go art project every morning and a new one every afternoon, from painting to seasonal collages. It offers lots of free choices, art, and opportunities for hands on learning along with self-expression. They do not stress academics. Kids learned by doing.
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 I’m sending my younger son Eric off to kindergarten in the fall. Depending on the time of day, I believe it’s either the best idea I’ve ever had or just one more way I’m screwing him up. If I send him before he is “ready,” I risk setting into motion a tragic school career. It will be fraught with failures and missed opportunities sprinkled with serious judgment errors.
Everything will be traced back to kindergarten.
“If only I had one more year to work on my social skills,” he’ll cry from the window he will shoot out as a teenage serial shooter. “It only I had mastered my pencil grip before I started elementary school!”
My older son, Paul has a late birthday so he missed the state kindergarten cut off date by one week. I would have sent him in a heartbeat.
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