Tony

I would like to touch a bit more on Tanner’s mom this week and tell you about a group that has been established in her honor. The name of the group is DebShred, and while some might find it an odd name, it was actually Debbie’s nickname.

There were many things I loved about Debbie, but one attribute in particular was her devotion to her family, friends, adventure, and being outside.

So, in her honor and in her memory Team DebShred was established as a means to openly promote a way of living that Deb enjoyed.  The members of Team DebShred gather to participate in challenging outdoor events as a means of symbolism and to promote awareness of the hurdles faced by those dealing with brain tumors and other life challenging diseases… and to humbly remain aware of how lucky we all are in comparison.
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There is something about spontaneity that makes life fun. Once again, I proved that to myself this past weekend.

Tanner started winter break this week, and we found ourselves without a plan for his time off. I started looking around and reading the papers for ideas when I noticed in the weather section that the California coast would be expecting larger-than-average waves for the upcoming weekend. That’s all I needed to know to make plans. Tanner and I would be heading up the coast for a wave-watching road trip.
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Perhaps some of you are wondering why the blog I write is focused on Tanner and me. You may ask, where is Tanner’s mom? The sad truth is that Tanner lost his mom to a brain tumor when he was three years old. He is now six.

It’s been almost four years since she passed. A slow four years of trying to move on without her. I am not there. Sometimes I just don’t see it happening but I guess it has to for Tanner’s sake. I won’t lie. Losing Deb has left me deflated, anxious, and scared.
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One of my first jobs was as a line cook for an upscale deli and catering business. From the ripe age of 15, I held that job throughout high school and for a couple of years afterwards while I attended the local junior college. I learned a lot about cooking throughout that time, and I also developed a love of being in the kitchen and making food that is both tasty and visually appealing.
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Today marks another milestone in the raising of a little boy. It’s not a proud moment by any means, but I guess it’s one of those things that happens in every kid’s educational career.

And just what is this great family achievement? Well, I received my first call from a school principal today.

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In a perfect world, a child has two parents. Generally, the mom is the one who uses a softer side to support and nurture the child while the father tends to bring a rougher and perhaps a no-nonsense approach to raising the child.

For example, let’s take the case of a child falling down and scraping his or her knee at the playground. In most cases, if given the choice, the child will probably gravitate toward Mom and seek some verbal comforting, a hug and a kiss to make the knee feel better. Now, let’s say that same child goes to Dad. The chances are pretty good that the same child will receive an “It’s OK,” “You’re fine,” or “C’mon now, get back out there and have some fun.”
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I wish my son had of gone to 1st grade with me.

So I am going to date myself. Looking back, I would have been in first grade in 1973. Oddly enough, I can recall vividly the fun and excitement that came with being in first grade. School back then seemed to be more about the basics. We colored, used dull scissors that were deemed childproof. Our teachers read us stories, and ate lunch with our friends. We spent what seemed like hours at recess, and frankly, I don’t recall coming home each day with very much homework at all.
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OK. The holidays have passed. Let’s breathe. I’m hoping you all had an enjoyable season with family and friends. For most it’s a cheerful time and one that creates so many opportunities to create memories for our kids and the parents alike.
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