Blogger Spotlight on Lindsay Maines of Rock and Roll Mama

“Mom, you rock” is a phrase mothers love to hear, and blogger Lindsay Maines, aka Rock and Roll Mama, wants you to know it’s a fitting one for moms everywhere.

“If there’s one thing I’d love for women to take away from my writing, it’s that they’re doing it right,” Lindsay said. “They don’t need to fit in a box to be great mothers, and they need to give themselves permission to cut loose every now and then… motherhood doesn’t need to be a woman’s sole identity.”

In fact, she adds, “there are parts of [a woman’s] wild side that can inform joyful mothering.”

That credo forms the premise for an upcoming book, Rock and Roll Mama—which Lindsay plans to pitch next month—as well as the theme for her blog of the same title. She also writes about a variety of topics for Lifetime Moms, a community site for mothers, but her own “wild side” has long been bound to music.

It’s something she learned to love as a five year old, memorizing Bruce Springsteen’s “Everybody’s Got a Hungry Heart” in her mom’s station wagon. Rock, coupled with a steady diet of hymns from her parent’s church groups, made up the soundtrack of Lindsay’s childhood, producing an enduring passion for tunes in the meantime.

Like many a good rocker, however, Lindsay has faced some adversity, and at the age of 21, significant events led her to suppose the days of enjoying music and “cutting loose” were a relic of her past.

“When I became a mother—a single one, at that—I thought I had to renounce all things rock and roll to be a ‘good mom,’ ” she said.

An epiphany came six months later when she met her husband, the bassist for Clutch—a touring rock band—who happened to be, “one of the most stable and wonderful human beings on the planet.”

Afterwards, she says, “I began to realize that [motherhood and rock and roll] could co-exist, and even thrive. I’ve had a lot of fun ever since, and I think all three of my kids are the better for it.”

Not surprisingly, music plays a major role in Lindsay’s family life, as all three of her children maintain disparate, but strong interests in instruments and bands. She and her thirteen-year-old son share songs between their iPods, using music as a launching pad to talk about serious issues.

“If we hear a dark song, I’ll ask him what he thinks the person’s talking about, and he seems more comfortable discussing some topics in a more oblique musical form,” Lindsay says.

Her five-year-old daughter enjoys the sounds of Neko Case and Dar Williams, but also some of Disney’s musical sensations, and Lindsay freely admits that she and her daughter get pumped every now and then for some “old school” Hannah Montana.  

Her three-year-old boy has already formed a make-believe rock band with a couple of imaginary friends.

“He frequently, casually says, ‘Oh yeah, Mom. Me, Sako, and Tiko are gonna go play rock and roll like Daddy and Daddy’s friends. Be back later.’”

For her part, Lindsay remains active in the music scene outside the home. Her blog has helped her stay connected to that world, partly serving as a creative outlet whenever she gets to indulge in one of her favorite pastimes: going to concerts.

“I always feel a different connection to music after seeing it live,” Lindsay says.  

While music is easily her best-loved hobby, picking a favorite performer or group is a little more difficult. She can’t choose just one, but she says, “Paul Simon is always near the top of my list, as is my husband’s band, Clutch. I also love the Decemberists right now, Bon Iver, and the Avett Brothers.”  

Having a husband who tours means she can almost always get a great seat for a concert, but his absence from home for over half the year poses certain difficulties.

Still, Lindsay professes, “when he’s home, he’s 24/7 devoted to family activities, which balances it out in many ways. The children are very accustomed to our schedule, and technology has definitely made it easier. We swap photos all the time via iPhone—I take pictures of art they make for him and send it, and they can always call him.”

Time zones are an obstacle, especially when Clutch is touring in Europe, “but we make it work,” Lindsay says. 

That doesn’t mean it’s not a work in progress, and finding the balance for family time, jobs, and extracurriculars can be a challenge. In addition to writing her two blogs, Lindsay speaks at conferences, teaches corporate classes, and writes for print magazines, as well as pursuing her hobbies of food, yoga, and pilates.

“I teach yoga and pilates, which lets me love food more,” she says.

While she is not exactly a musician herself, Lindsay has dappled with writing satirical songs with the family babysitter, and they’re working on recording them, more or less for fun. Her oldest son plays guitar, her daughter can instantly pick up lyrics and, she says, even her three year old gets in on the act, drumming like animal from the Muppets, so who knows, maybe a family band is in the future? They’d already have a bassist.

For now, however, Lindsay remains focused on her writing—keeping moms up-to-date on the musical world and letting them know that, even on a regular basis, it’s OK for them to rock.

Tagged as: blogs, music, rock-and-roll-mama, supermoms