Parenting

Over at Babble, David Shenk has “4 Ways to Guide Your Child Toward Excellent,” or better put, tips for parents to help their kids succeed. The advice isn’t too specific, but I think it’s intentionally ambiguous so it can be applied to whatever part of your child’s life needs parental support. Here are the four steps and some excerpts from Shenk:

1. Believe
“Rather than wonder if their child is among the “gifted” chosen few, parents should believe deeply in the extraordinary potential of their children.”

2. Support, don’t smother
“Early exposure to resources is wonderful, as is setting high expectations and demonstrating persistence and resilience when it comes to life challenges. But a parent must not use affection as a reward for success or a punishment for failure.”
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When parents push their kids to succeed — whether it’s academically or athletically — there’s a careful balance of nurturing a will to do his/her best and not forcing your kids to do something just because the parent is living vicariously through them. It’s tricky. In her column for the Los Angeles Times, Sandy Banks talks about how that tension can strengthen the bond between mother and daughter.

It took years on the soccer sidelines for me to learn to walk away, to honor my daughter’s wish that I please, please not embarrass her by becoming one of those parents who strides out onto the field to pick a fight with the referee.

I only recently realized that she was honoring my wish by strapping on those shin guards every week. She got tired of playing long before I let her quit.

I spent weekends with my daughter, traveling to games and tournaments. And if the love of soccer didn’t stick, well, the closeness between mother and daughter did.

The rest at the Los Angeles Times. Photo by brit.

Is Tim Burton’s reimagining of Alice in Wonderland appropriate viewing material for kids? Burton is known for his dark, violent films like Sweeney Todd, but also bizarrely yet kid-friendly fare like Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. Over at Babble, Erika Milvy thinks that Alice falls in the latter category. And not only is it OK for children, she thinks it’s just a straight up good movie.

She writes, “This is a film you’ll want your daughter to see instead of Hannah Montana… Like Where the Wild Things Are this is a film about childhood as well as being a film that will enchant children. If your kid isn’t old enough, see it alone.”

Kids movies that aren’t just for kids! And I thought only Pixar could do it. Anyone seen Alice in Wonderland yet? Movie trailer is on YouTube, because embedding is disabled.

This week’s Momversation deals with sexual abuse — not a fun topic, but an important for parents to think about. The question was pitched by our friend Asha from Parent Hacks.

Over time, loud concerts and sports events will damage your hearing, but how do you slow down that process? Taking measures to protect your one’s ears as early as possible. According to the Times, parents don’t take enough measures to preserve their children’s ears.

The article compliments New Orleans Saints quarterback Drew Brees for putting earmuffs on his one-year-old son during their Super Bowl victory celebration. Those earmuffs might look dorky, but they’re extremely cheap ($20ish) and can make a big difference in protecting your child’s hearing. They are also better than ear plugs and aren’t a choking hazard.

Interesting fact: sales of Baby Banz earmuffs, designed specifically for infants six months and older, rose 40% after the Super Bowl.

The full story at the New York Times.

In response to a piece by Nona Willis Arononwitz, Allison Stevens of WomensRadio answers why parents aren’t more aware of the political landscape: it’s simply a matter of time. Parents are already stretched thin with their responsibilities, and since basic needs, like taking care of the family, come first. But Allison isn’t saying that parents should give up on staying informed.

“But mothers can’t job this out, however tired we may feel,” she writes. “That’s why I have decided to take the time–or make it if I have to–to fill this space with coverage of motherhood and politics. Even as I write this our baby, Owen, is screaming in the background as his father tries to put him to sleep (an especially difficult task for the breastmilk-less parent of a breastfed baby). It’s the price we’ll pay as a family to stay informed and active.”

Read the rest of Allison’s column at WomensRadio. Photo by jcolman.

One of the biggest challenges for parents in today’s society has to do with teaching your kids about alcohol. With society putting certain pressures on today’s kids and there being a “right” way to enjoy alcohol, it can be hard to get a child to understand. Teaching your children about alcohol is important, though, because it will give them the foundation to use going forward when they have to answer the peer pressure of so-called friends. But what is the right way to do it? How should it be addressed so that the kids will know you are serious about the subject?
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It’s hard as parents to let children go to a friend’s house alone. But, there comes a time when parents are not invited to the play date anymore. In this case, parents must teach their children to be good guests. Let’s start with manners. A simple reminder to your child to say please and thank you always exudes good parenting. Furthermore, being polite at the dinner table will surely get your child another invite. Remind a child to eat as much of the food as possible even if it is something unfamiliar.
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Take Your Child to Work Day is a great way to let your kids experience what you do for a living. Unless you’re an air-traffic controller, apparently. The Federal Aviation Administration is investigating a mid-career air-traffic controller at JFK Airport in New York who let his son give directions to planes.

The FAA didn’t think it was so cute: “Pending the outcome of our investigation, the employees involved in this incident are not controlling air traffic… This behavior is not acceptable and does not demonstrate the kind of professionalism expected from all FAA employees.”

It sounds like the kid was under adult supervision the entire time. What’s the harm of letting the kid just give a few directions?

More from Yahoo! News. Photo by Eric E Johnson.

A surefire way to widen the gulf between parents and teenagers is to act like a clueless parent when you are on teenager turf. As kids get older, they practice throwing off the cloak of childhood and interacting with their friends as young adults. One of the worst mistakes parents can make is insisting to make their teens toe the line in front of these friends at a party or other social gathering. Couple that with the insatiable need some adults have to fit in with the younger crowd, and you have a recipe for disaster. Here are a few rules of thumb for parental etiquette at a teenager’s party.
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