The Scene: A video store on a rainy Saturday afternoon A video plays on the TV above the counter.
Cast: My six-year-old daughter and myself.
The Plot: Mom and daughter stand in line waiting to pay. Six year old’s eyes grow as large as saucers and her jaw drops to the floor. Mom looks up at the TV and notices two actors on the TV sweating, half naked, and clearly enjoying a nice afternoon delight of their own on this rainy afternoon. Mom quickly covers her daughter’s eyes while daughter shifts to try to see. Girl at the counter notices and says, “Oh, would you like me to skip this part?” Um, YEAH.
I approach the counter and she thanks me for my patience with the “issue” and says she didn’t realize a PG-13 movie would have such a lurid scene in it. NEITHER DID I! Good grief. Makes you wonder what else children must be watching. I scoot on out of there and my mind is wild with thought.
But this image of what seemed appropriate for PG-13 really got to me. I mean, I remember Ferris Bueller’s Day Off, Dances with Wolves, and Ghost. Those were all PG-13 and pretty tame. What slippery slope are we getting onto here? Do we really want to desensitize our kids to these kinds of images at such an early age? Especially knowing that younger and younger kids are ACTUALLY SEEING PG-13. We can admit it, no? (I’m with you, sometimes the thought of another Disney princess movie is just too much to bear). I just wonder if we are getting a little too loose in our definition of what is appropriate, and if our kids aren’t going to suffer for it.
The biggest challenge we face is in public places and the shared spaces of one another’s domains. How do we negotiate those land mines? It’s an uncomfortable thing to discuss with other families without sounding like you are laying judgment, like when our kids go to another child’s house for a play date or dinner and a movie and we have to discuss the nuances of what we see as OK or not in the video games they play and movies they watch.
“Henry is really sensitive to images in shows, so if you could keep the movies pretty tame,” is heard as: “I know you let Johnny watch all those gun-laden and racy movies, but we would rather Henry not become a violent sex offender”.
There is a great website called Common Sense Media. I log onto it any time we are about to see a movie, buy a video game, or look for a book. It has expert reviews and really helps guide you in deciding what may or may not be a good fit for your kid. Every child is different, and has a different maturity level. And every family has a different idea of what is OK for them. And maybe the video store should look into the website too.
{ 7 comments… read them below or add one }
My dad let me watch Star Wars one day when I came home sick from school…It was PG13 and my mom blew her lid. I didn’t even get to finish the movie.
Pretty sure Star Wars is PG. In the words of Will Smith, “Parents just don’t understand!”
“Do we really want to desensitize our kids to these kinds of images at such an early age? Especially knowing that younger and younger kids are ACTUALLY SEEING PG-13.”
Ok, in the setting in which your child encountered this, NO, it was NOT acceptable.
But should we be making sure that movies rated ‘Parental GUIDANCE, for those under 13′ are actually totally ok for under 13’s ?
No.
Honestly, if I never see another Disney Princess I’d be over the moon with joy
And yeah, some of what is creeping into PG13 isn’t even what I want for my 15 yo.
But the last thing we need is to continue the “I gave birth, so everything should be set to safe for my wittle snookums” trend that’s been so pervasive of late in Mom Culture.
As a parent, I must say I want my kids to watch R rated movies more than they do. Yes, i really have kids.
unfortunately it isn’t just PG-13 movies, but the rating system has moved with the culture. Any hint of harsh violence of sex were all considered R if not NC17 just 10 years ago. Now you can’t go through a PG-13 movie without seeing it.
parents and adults alike should be encouraged to go to a good review site before watching any movie.
I actually do think parents should talk to other parents and make sure the one hosting the playdate knows the specific of the kids — what their tolerance is for different types of entertainment, what they like to do, etc.
I second the motion to use Common Sense Media to pre-screen movies. You can find out why something is rated PG-13 vs PG (ie they explain that characters in Invictus use the F*word once and S* a handful of times, and they play Rugby, a pretty violent game, but there’s no sex or murders or other things I’d like to prevent my 9&7 year olds from seeing. We will rent it when it comes out and watch together.)
Some parents just don’t get it. I heard a story last week about 11 year old boys at a sleepover watching The Hangover with the hosting parent’s consent (very rated R if you haven’t seen this very funny but VERY adult movie). I’m sorry, but that is lousy parenting, rated R is restricted and the parent should have received the ok ahead of time from the other boys’ families, and if the parents had said ok (they hadn’t), the hosting parent should have been in the room to explain about bestiality, date rape drug use, and other R-rated topics in the movie. I would have given that parent a piece of my mind had my sons been there.
So – prescreen your movies, and prescreen your playdates?!?