Father to Son

I’m assuming, as I did, that most new parents probably take the time to review some type of parenting books in preparation for their newborn and as a means to become acquainted with the years to come.

Before Tanner was born, I did my fair share of reading on parenting topics, such as what it takes to be a “smart parent” or how to raise a “well-adjusted child.” I appreciated the knowledge I gathered from my reading and made a conscientious effort to consider what I had read when interacting with Tanner. I especially enjoyed reading the chapters where they would describe the expected characteristics of a child based on his age. One might say “it’s at about six weeks when parents may notice their child smiling in response to seeing them.” In hindsight, I now laugh at myself because I used to count the days until he was six weeks old and constantly look for that smile when I entered the room.

As a new parent, reading these books made me feel a bit more confident that I was doing my best for my son. I can still recall reading something to the effect of: “cuddling children often within their first year of life tends to produce a child that is more secure and independent as they grow up.” Well, I thought, I want a secure and independent child so cuddling we shall do! And we still do at his current age of seven.

I would guess that not everything one would read in those books one would agree with, but there is value in reading them even if all they do is make youconsider different views and approaches to raising a child. After all, don’t we always ask our kids to keep an open mind?

There are an endless number of such parenting books out there to read but one that was given to me by my wife when Tanner was born has always been my favorite and one in which I have found a lot of practical advice. It’s easy to read, fun, and makes a great gift for a new parent.

The book is Father to Son: Life Lessons on Raising a Boy by Harry H. Harrison, Jr. As the back cover says, “it’s a little book of wisdom for fathers.” The book itself is about 3 inches by 3 inches and is broken into seven sections with each of the 314 pages offering a short sentence of parenting wisdom per page. Let me give you some examples from each section so you can get a feel for it.

In the first section, The Five Keys, the author summarizes the five main points to a successful dad as follows:

1. Be Around.
2. Be his father, not his friend. If you don’t understand the difference, imagine his confusion when you must discipline him.
3. Be a good husband. Show his mom respect at all times.
4. Be home for dinner.
5. Be his hero.

The following six sections encompass the growth stages and are entitled, Little Boys, Boys and Sports, Boys and Spirituality, Boys and Money, Boys and Girls and Older Boys, respectively. To me this book is almost like a bound instruction manual for me while at the same time a “bucket list” of things I owe to my son to teach. Here are a couple of examples from each section so you can be the judge:

Little Boys

• Take him for walks and introduce him to the world of bugs.
• Show him how to call you at work. Then take his calls. Forever.

Boys and Sports

• Don’t forget that the point of sports when you’re a kid is to have fun.
• If his coach is a screamer, find another team. If you are the coach, retire.

Boys and Spirituality

• Teach him the difference between being lonely and being a lone.
• Teach him that forgiving someone isn’t a weakness, but the height of selfishness – because it makes you feel so much better.

Boys and Money

• Teach him that if he wants something bad enough, that is a reason to go to work.
• Never be afraid to say, “We can’t afford it.”

Boys and Girls

• Treat his girlfriends with respect. Make sure he does.
• Never criticize his mother in front of him. Never, never, never.

Older Boys

• Tell him often that you love him.
• Teach him that the world will judge him by his actions, not his intentions.

I had a really tough time picking out which little tidbits to share with you because there are so many that we can all identify with as parents. Sure, you may not agree with everything stated in the book, but I will remind you once again that it’s all about keeping an open mind and grasping the pieces of knowledge that can add to our lives.

Personally, I find this book in my hands probably once a month as I look for the next lesson to share with Tanner. I think it helps to keep me thinking and focused. And let me share just one more with you because it’s my favorite:

• Show him how to do a wheelie.

We were just practicing those yesterday!

I have only mentioned the Father to Son version because that’s the copy I own. If you are a mom with a daughter, don’t despair! There is a version of this book for all of us. The other titles are as follows: Mother to Daughter and Mother to Son written by Melissa Harrison and Father to Daughter once again written by Harry Harrison.

If you are interested you can find these books at Amazon.com at a price of around $8.

They are fun to read and they are great gift ideas. It may just possibly be the best $8 you will spend while raising a child.

Tagged as: books