When it comes to the idea of friending my child’s teacher on Facebook my opinion is slightly skewed. Being that I was a daycare provider for five years, I actually dealt with this from the teaching point of view — and I did not friend ANY of my kid’s parents during that time while their kids were in my care. So when teachers friend a child’s parent on Facebook, it is beyond me. I think it crosses a line that I preferred to have arm guards protecting when I was doing daycare. I felt that my personal life needed to stay mine, and that was that.
Now looking at it from a mom’s point of view, I still don’t get it. Don’t get me wrong. I have been lucky when it comes to my kid’s teachers. But I don’t feel the need to peek inside to their personal life and see what goes on after school hours. Not that I’m not tempted, but the reality is: I don’t want to know. I don’t care to have my child’s teacher know more about me either.
“A friend who is a local teacher (not for my kids) said when I asked her, I know I am always being judged — student performance, my education, what I wear, how I enforce rules, etc. So why would I open myself up to any more potential judgment that may be viewed in a negative light (i.e. a photo of me at a party may be viewed as I am a “partier”)? My job is emotional and I have to make boundaries between my personal life and my professional life. Accepting Facebook friendship would be over stepping a boundary.
“On the flip side I do not want to make judgments of parents. Sometimes ignorance is bliss. I don’t need to know their personal life. I don’t want to make unfair judgments of them and that might influence how I feel about their student (are they being neglected at home, do they live in a poor home environment?). The thing is I usually get a good sense of who my parents are and what kind of home life they have. I don’t need to know the details!”
I have to admit that I am friends with the woman who was both of my kids’ preschool teacher, but I feel our situation was unique in that I had kids in her class for four years and eventually went onto sub in her preschool classes, and took classes together at night at the local college. So we did have a different friendship, besides it was preschool not elementary school. Which is a huge difference I think.
Let’s take it a step further and pose the question: do you think there should be rules about that sort of thing? Some schools districts have already banned teacher/student friendships online — should there be similar guidelines for teacher /parents?
What if your teacher set up a Facebook PAGE for the class, where she could keep you up to date on things going on in the classroom or even post pictures from time to time (with the highest privacy settings set of course). Would you be comfortable with that? And if you are a teacher, would you be willing to do that?
With technology and the world of social media becoming a bigger part of our day-to-day lives, how do we reconcile these kinds of relationships, which are so important to maintain in a healthy open way?
Why or why wouldn’t you become friends with your child’s teacher? And would there be circumstances that you would be willing to (i.e. a smaller private school might have a different vibe than a larger public school)?
For me, as I mentioned above, I can see the temptation in wanting to know my kids teachers better. But not enough to actually friend one of them…
Copyright © 2011 Life360. | All Rights Reserved.
{ 39 comments }
As a parent who has a Facebook account, I am not a fan of friending teachers on the site. Social networking allows us to connect quickly and easily, but the parent/student/teacher relationship is one that I don't think should be included. I don't want Miss Smith to see pics of me drinking a martini with friends and I certainly don't want to know that she spent her weekend hungover.
What a horrible idea to friend you child’s teacher…or vice versa…I’m a teacher and the last thing in the world I would want is for them to see some ridiculous photo of me a friend of mine has tagged…even though you can set privacy restrictions, it’s still not worth the risk.
i think it would be inappropriate to cross that boundary.
I don't think it's a good idea, either. It's one thing to have email contact – especially if you have a special needs kid and this is a better way to communicate – but the Facebook thing doesn't seem appropriate to me.
Margay
I can't say it seems like something I would do, too personal- I wouldn't want anything to affect my girls grades/school experience, may it be positive or negative.
I like to keep my private life private. I would only friend those I have known for some time, and family members I am willing to open my life to. Naw, not teachers, or coaches, or any other compartmentalized relationships.
It depends on how close you are with the teacher IMO. If you know them well and have a good relationship with them why not. But if you only know them as your child's teacher, then friending them would be inappropriate.
I think if you are an active member of the classroom it is okay. But you have to remember that they are real people and not jsut your child's teacher. So you find out things you didn't want to about your child. You also don't want to be using this as a means of checking up on your child, either.
I wouldn't friend my kids' teacher, unless I were really their friend. Otherwise, I do have their emails if I need to ask them any questions, and they have mine to email me with any problems.
I really think teachers should have a professional page and a personal page, if they choose to open that door of friending students and/or families. Otherwise, it has the potential to turn out badly. The two should not mix.
I don't like the idea of mixing a professional relationship with a personal one.
I don't think it's a good idea. I do think that over time, you sometimes do become personal friends with teachers at your kids school, but there should be a line publically of professionalism.
Not a chance.. in fact i'd skip having facebook to begin with.
As a parent of adult children and a professional in the field of education, I am against the idea of a parent and a teacher or educational/professional support staff being friends on a social network. Some parents and some professionals would be able to understand the boundaries but not all. I witnessed too many situations with "brown nosing" parents/teachers and the impact it had on students. I think personal and professional lives should be separate. I am in the "retirement' category but still think the younger generation which will include my grandchildren need parents to think twice before adopting this "friendship" policy.
Nah, no need to Friend anyone on Facebook
Facebook's a waste of time, in my opinion
That's good, but it can bring to others, playing blogs and distract from the educational process
I don't think it is in either party's' best interest to friend each other.
No I'm not comfortable with that, all of the teachers at my childrens schools have email accounts at school and that's how I contact them if I need to.
I have a couple of my son’s teachers/former teachers as FB friends. However, I first built relationships with them outside of school activities… and then they sent me the friend requests. I wouldn’t simply friend just any of his teachers… TMI.
I would not friend my kid's teacher on Facebook. My kid's teacher has a website and that is where I prefer to contact her about homework or whatever other school issue. I don't want to be looking into her personal social life and vice versa.
The School Board where I live is trying to prohibit teachers/parents being Facebook friends (among other things). The teacher's union is fighting it, but I expect there will be at least some restrictions imposed about this so that teachers are not ALLOWED to friend parents on social networks.
I suppose in some cases it might be appropriate to friend your child's teacher (ie. you've known each other some other way like church or a volunteer org.) but if you just know them as your child's teacher, I would skip friending them on FB. It's easy enough for people who know you well to misinterpret something that's been posted to FB let alone someone who doesn't really know you. It just isn't worth all the risk (hurt feelings, revealing things about yourself that you only want close friends to know, etc.). If you need more contact with the teacher…meet with her/him or encourage them to start a classroom blog/site, but skip the Facebook friendship!
No, I don’t think You should friend your childs teacher on facebook. The teacher’s personal life should stay personal, just as the personal life of the student & parent should remain private from the teacher. I just want to know my child’s teacher is doing their job inside the classroom, not how they live outside of the classroom. The teacher-student-parent relationship should remain in the classroom. So, don’t confuse things & cross lines by friending your childs teacher on facebook
I think it depends on the teacher. Some teachers set up their Facebook accounts just to have another way for parents to contact them and stay informed. Others may just have an account that they use on their personal time. If the latter is the case, I would probably not friend my child's teacher.
I know some high school students are friends with their teachers on Facebook – but for parents to be "Friends" seems intruding.
I do not think it’s a good idea to use Facebook for this kind of thing.
I am a teacher and there is no way I would be friends or "friend" my students parents! I work enough extra hours after school getting stuff done and I would like to keep my personal life personal. Not that I don't care for my students, but I like to keep those things separate. Not to mention, our district highly encourages us to not become friends with any of our students… it's just too risky.
I think Facebook should be a means for socializing with your peers or networking with like-minded, like-careered, and like-aged individuals. I really hate that there are multigenerational gaps being blended. It seems inappropriate. I know this isn't necessarily on topic, because parents and their children are usually similar in age– but I think it is still an ethical boundary that should not be crossed. Yes, it is nice to have the peace of mind that your child's educator is not boozing it up every weekend, but that teacher should also be granted the ability to speak her mind, share experiences, etc. without constantly concerning herself with whether she is pleasing her students parents…. Because lets face it, there will ALWAYS be SOMEONE who has an issue with what you do…
A resounding NO! I only friend people close to me, not acquaintances such as my children's teachers, etc. If the school system wants web pages where teacher's could post assignments and upcoming events, that would be fine; but not personal stuff.
I think it would intrude on a teacher's space to "friend" them. Besides, I'd be too embarrassed to look them up and actually do it anyways. That's for the majority of my kid's teachers though. There is one teacher that I talk to a couple times a week and it seems like we're pretty good friends. Sometime… maybe… I might try to "friend" her, but only because we really do seem to have a friendship.
I'm a special needs teacher and have accepted friend requests from parents. When there are not many people who understand the circumstances you face daily, you tend to be close knit!
As the article also mentions, it is best that each party maintains their privacy and professional relationship outside Facebook. At least, that's how I feel…
I just have to say I facebooked my child's teacher (we already had mutual friends so I could see her page without adding her) and the next day I went in and pulled my child right out of school and sent her to private school! I already knew the admin had a rep for not allowing children to switch classes. I ALWAYS facebook people ESPECIALLY when they are going to be around my kids!!
I have noticed that online degree is getting well-known because accomplishing your college degree online has turned into a popular selection for many people. A large number of people have certainly not had a possible opportunity to attend a regular college or university nevertheless seek the elevated earning possibilities and a better job that a Bachelor’s Degree provides. Still other individuals might have a qualification in one course but would like to pursue some thing they now have an interest in.
Sorry for the huge review, but I’m really loving the new Zune, and hope this, as well as the excellent reviews some other people have written, will help you decide if it’s the right choice for you.
I just could not depart your website before suggesting that I actually enjoyed the standard information a person provide for your visitors? Is going to be back often to check up on new posts
TY for blogging this, it was quite handy and helped a lot…
An fascinating dialogue is value comment. I feel that you should write extra on this matter, it might not be a taboo subject however typically persons are not enough to speak on such topics. To the next. Cheers
I actually have a personal experience with this. When I learned that my child would have a teacher who was new to the school, I was curious to find out more about her. I looked her up on Facebook expecting to see a picture only. But she did not have any privacy settings set up. I shouldn't have peeked, but it was just too tempting. So I looked at some of her pictures and read a few of her posts. I showed my child a picture of her dog. Then a scenario popped into my head of their teacher showing them a picture of her dog, and my child saying that he had seen a picture already on Facebook. Yikes. So in the interest of full disclosure I sent a note to the teacher via facebook about how I had peaked at her Facebook page. She was understandably alarmed that her private life was so open to the public. I felt badly, because as a former teacher I would definitely want to maintain a boundary between my professional and private life. She sent me a note saying she would be honored if I wanted to friend her, but that she had changed the privacy settings. I thought it was very nice of her, but I didn't "friend" her. I think that it would be too much information on both sides.