Maybe it’s a New York thing, but I am cynical by nature. Even though I expect the worst in order to avoid being disappointed, it more often means that I am guaranteeing myself a negative outcome. My husband is the original Mr. Happy-Go-Lucky, taking the bad with a grain of salt and focusing on the positive in every situation. He always looks on the bright side. I hate when he does that!
Eric is more like his dad. It is all good. If play dates get canceled, he is the first to suggest an alternative plan. If a movie is sold out, he will suggest a day at the park.
“Dat’s okay, we can do sumfing better!”
My son Paul has inherited my pessimistic nature. Forget the glass being half full or half empty, Paul’s glass is the wrong glass because Eric must have gotten the “good” glass.
Even if I am trying to get Paul to think positively, it backfires. I try to preview situations to avoid unrealistic expectations, but even this can result in tears. I warn them ahead of time if I think they may be disappointed. This means that even a fun outing to the toy store can end in hysteria.
“Thanks for reminding me that there might be a problem!” Paul will cry if I tell him to have a second choice picked out in case whatever he has his heart set on may not be available.
Even trying to compliment his improving drawing skills can backfire. If I admire a picture by saying it is better than the previous one, he gets defensive.
“Why? What was wrong with the first one?”
Also, he is the first to admit that he is too hard on himself.
“Mom, the bad thing about being such a good artist is I expect too much from myself.”
Is this just one more example of kids getting both the good and bad qualities from both parents? Eric got my crowded teeth and ingrown toenails, but Bill’s positive attitude. Paul got Bill’s body type and artistic ability, along with my anxiety and over-sensitive nature.
I am not a born optimist, but I try to fake it for my kids. It is not working.
Paul is even negative about other people’s abilities. And by other people’s I mean his brother’s. Recently I overheard them playing Legos together. Apparently Eric was trying to construct a gravity-defying bridge.
“Eric! That won’t work. I don’t think you will be able to do that.”
“Paul—please stop being so negative,” I called from the other room. “Can you have a more positive attitude?”
“Fine. Eric, I am positive you won’t be able to do it.”
Read more from Kindergarten Chronicles.
{ 9 comments… read them below or add one }
Very funny and true. Love the way you know yourself and your children so well. Despite it all, your humor shines through.
We all know and accept each other for what we are. The good, the bad, and the sarcastic!
Is it an accident that they are so aware of themselves at such a young age?
My kids are more self aware at 7 and 10 than I am at 45!
I don't see where the problem would be! That is a terrific little boy! wow!
Thanks! It is hard on me because they are hard on each other!
I am also a pessimist and hate it! I wish I could be more positive but its hard to change your inborn personality. I come from a long line of pessimists!
Love your post…..each child is different creation from God and we "positively "cherish them for all that they are.
It sounds like you have a real ying yang type of family. Everyone balances everyone out which can be great. I think it's good to be grounded in some reality yet have your head in the clouds as often as possible, lol. Great observations.