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When Do You Acknowledge Someone is Pregnant?

Better make sure there's a baby due before you ask when the baby's due!

Better make sure there's a baby due before you ask when the baby's due!

Worst case scenario of worst case scenarios: “So, when is the baby due?” “What do you mean? I’m not pregnant.” It’s a common sitcom gag to mistaken someone who’s not pregnant for someone who is. Funny on Seinfeld maybe, but probably not funny in real life for either person. So when do you acknowledge someone is pregnant?

Peter Hartlaub at The Poop says, “I have a hard and fast rule: When it comes to pregnant women, the baby doesn’t exist until either, 1) She acknowledges it first; or 2) I can physically see the baby crowning.” That is, never say anything about it.

But at the same time, if someone is clearly pregnant, isn’t it almost as rude not to acknowledge it? Especially if it’s a friend you haven’t seen in a long time?

Anyway readers, I’m curious if any of you have ever accidentally acknowledged a pregnancy that was actually just some gained weight?

Read the rest at The Poop. Photo by Ed Yourdon.

  • @TrenchMommy

    I tend to err on the side of caution, but I wish pregnant woman would step up and announce they are pregnant – especially in the church setting – a lot sooner!

  • Maggie

    I tend to err on the side of caution too. I know I would rather not have my pregnancy referred to by someone else than have somebody ask when I was expecting and I wasn't. I don't assume. I think most women would understand.

  • Michelle

    Whenever I was pregnant, I had to deal with some overly-excited relatives and co-workers who seemed to think that I had somehow lost interest in discussing anything except the impending child. I found it so restful on those occasions when people just ignored the big belly and talked to *me* about whatever non-baby things were on their mind.

  • Annette D

    Only when you are 100% sure that they are indeed pregnant! My sister once had someone ask when she was due and she was not pregnant! She is not overweight but she had on a top that looked somewhat like a maternity top. They were both very embarrassed!

  • lsnurse2

    not unless she mentions something about being pregnant.

  • Justine Pierson

    I think people should mind their own business, I'm not sure why people care about other people and what they are doing, it's bizarre to me. If you are their friend then you will know, otherwise maybe they don't want to discuss it. When I was pregnant complete strangers approached me and asked if they could feel the baby, I mean how weird is that?! I guess if the person wants to talk about it then they will!

    • FionaChan

      now, that's weird!

  • Stephanie R

    No, not yet! I try to wait until it's so obvious that I can't make this mistake or until the person says something. Oh, I hope I never make this mistake :)

  • cait

    If I don't know them…I don't say anything! Better safe than sorry!

  • gina

    I just dont mention it at all unless it is completely ridiculously obvious. I saw my previous dentist the other day (she is a total sweetheart) & I thought she looked kind of pregnant, but she is a little on the chubby side normally, so I didnt say a word. During our conversation she mentioned she was expecting again. I decided that if the person wants you to know they will tell you, they will at least mention something about it then you can comment appropriately.

  • mickeyfan

    When to acknowlege? When you have been RELIABLY informed.

  • Nan L.

    I wait until they say something because nothing is worse than asking someone when they are due and they aren't pregnant! Believe me! One of my son's teachers once asked me that and I wasn't. I went home and tossed out the dress I was wearing!

  • Cyndi

    I don't say anything until the person informs me of their pregnancy. It is better to be safe than sorry!

  • Cynthia

    I don't comment until they tell me that are pregnant!

  • amida

    I have mistaken someone for being pregnant when she wasn't — good thing I didn't ask her personally! Now I just don't comment until they mention it first.

  • Mindee Larsen

    I was wearing a tube top and this guy came up to me and said CONGRATS your having a baby…what is it? I was so embarrassed i cried after i walked away!! :( I make sure that a lady is REALLY pregnant before i say something or just wait till they tell me to be safe! :)

  • @monacpete

    Only when they tell you otherwise you could stick your foot in your mouth!

  • Tari L.

    I wait until I know for sure. I remember being with a friend when someone commented to her about her baby on the way and she was not pregnant. It was so embarrassing.

  • Linda Fish

    Not until they tell me!

  • Marta Duarte

    You must be sure there's a baby , so I'd say acknowledge it when it shows without a doubt.

  • Kim

    I never ever ever comment, unless I see a belly button poking out!

  • Carl G.

    I only comment if they tell me about their pregnancy or if someone else comments first

  • DJD

    Unless you are absolutely sure they are pregnant(I’ve made that mistake!) do you say ‘congratulations’.

  • hpb157

    Only when they comment on it during conversation (pregnant women always tend to slip in something about water retention or aching feet into even the most mundane of conversations)

  • Kelsey

    I usually only comment on a person's pregnancy if it is someone I know. I find it somewhat awkward to talk to a random stranger about their pregnancy

  • Brandy

    I don't unless it's absolutely obvious. I think it's more exciting for them to tell you.

  • Amy D

    I wouldn't say anything until I've been told that they are pregnant. Even then it's a fine line until they are close to the end.

  • Dana

    I wait for another person to ask this question… or I'll go to a close friend of her's and ask to be on the safe side!

  • Robin

    I always cringe inside in this situation. With strangers, I never say anything unless they say something to allude to them being preggers. With friends and/or family, it's generally a non-issue as they have already said something about it. I agree with the person who said that pregnant women should say something about it really soon for all us schmucks who don't want to put our feet in our mouths! ;-)

  • Callista

    I can't remember ever asking someone if they were pregnant before but I've been asked many times. I'm overweight and carry a lot of weight in my belly so I do sort of look pregnant.

    Still, you should never assume, EVER!

  • FionaChan

    I have zero experience with such situation, but I don't think I will assume and congrats them if I'm not sure.

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