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The Dad and His Daughter's Laptop

So the internets are all a buzz over the latest viral video gone crazy. You may have already seen the video of the dad shooting his daughter’s laptop. This video and the subsequent story has intrigued me and I’ve not only been following it but reaching out to friends and others to see what THEY think.

I don’t like judging other people’s parenting, and I’m not going to here. But I am totally interested in finding out the logic behind parenting choices that are, shall we say, outside of the box? Shooting your daughters laptop on video and posting it on her Facebook page for her friends to see for instance… You can see the video, read the back-story AND the dad’s response to the media all here. And you should also take a moment to visit this dad’s public FB profile to get an idea of who he is. Not a bad guy it seems, if his Facebook wall is any indicator.

The reason why these kinds of stories interest me is because quite honestly, I’m a parent. My kids are 8 and 6 and will be teenagers before I know it. They already have opinions and feelings of their own that differ from me and on the occasions when we do butt heads over things I wonder with great anxiety what will it be like when they are teens?

Will I know how to deal with them? Will I command respect, as my parents did with me? Not that I was a perfect teenager, but I never would’ve been stupid enough to say something in public like this girl did. And what would I do if my kids did do something like this?

Well, I certainly wouldn’t shoot their laptops. Mainly because I don’t and never will own a gun (I live in California where our views on guns are VERY different then many of those in Texas, as the father in this story does). Secondly, my family lives on a tight income. Take my daughter’s laptop away? Yes, no problem. Destroy an expensive piece of computer equipment? No way! Not that I’m judging this dad, I’m just saying from where I sit, it’s different.

But, with that said, are extreme measure justified? If this girl was as spoiled and rotten as she seems to be, was the dad right in following through with this threat, which he had previously made?

I say, maybe.

Guns & property destruction wouldn’t have been MY choice, BUT kids today are truly a different breed. I know that every generation may say that about the generation that comes after them, but I truly feel that today’s teenagers are a totally different breed of teenager in large part due to technology and a society full of instant gratification for everything.

We’ve created a generation of spoiled brats, quite frankly.

So do I applaud this dad on his use of gun? No. On his destruction of an expensive laptop (that I would’ve have happily taken off his hands) No.

For following a threat he had previosuly made (and sending a statement to her friends as well)? Yes (assuming that the impression I’ve gotten from his Facebook page and the video itself are correct).

What do you think? Did this dad go too far?

10 Responses to “The Dad and His Daughter's Laptop”

  1. Sara

    My view on this is pretty simple – the dad CLEARLY has no respect for his daughter, so I would see no reason why she should have respect for him. Respect is earned, not simply a "given" for contributing a sperm or an egg to a fetus. Honestly, I think he needs to take a chill pill and be the adult in this situation – I know of no one who never complained about their parents/chores/etc. when they were a teenager. I'm sure this guy did it too when he was a teenager. The medium may have changed, but hey – making dumb choices from time to time is what being a teenager is all about! If the dad had responded in a mature, sensitive way to the situation (i.e. Hey, this hurt my feelings, you need to think about what you post online because people may see it who aren't your intended audience) – she may have actually learned a lesson that will serve her well in the future rather than learning the lesson that men in her life will and should respond to her mistakes with extreme anger and violence. And yes – she did make a mistake. But there's no excuse for an adult to treat anyone in the way that father did – how would we respond if a man treated his wife in this fashion? Everyone would immediately cry emotional abuse and tell that woman to get out of the situation as soon as humanly possible. I just feel sorry for this poor girl that she can't get out for a few more years. I really wish people would stop crying "parental freedom" to do with their kids as they will – yes, it's hard to make the right choices for your kids, but that doesn' t make every choice a parent makes a healthy or good choice – children should have some rights as human beings as well!

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  2. Teresa Moore

    First of all, I do not judge anyone's parenting. That is not my job in life. In my house, the word threat is not used, but instead the word consequences. My daughter is only six and a half, but she has consequences for dong something wrong. And then, only after a couple of warnings, are consequences put into play. Her consequences is something like loss of tv or computer time. I do believe it is important to follow through when you tell your child," that if I have to warn you about something again," there will be consequences. I think shooting a computer is a little much. I do not know what the consequence I would have used in this guys situation, but I would not choose what I consider over the top as shooting a gun. I understand he had to follow through, but I just feel there should have been a different "threat" made. I have read pro's and con's on what the father did, but I know I would never go as far as shooting a computer.

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  3. Ann

    I'm pretty against having guns in the house, especially around kids, so I can't see any positives to what he did. And of course it's incredibly wasteful.

    But I do totally agree with the idea of following through on "threats" of disciplinary actions. How often do we see the "you stop that right now, okay. …Right now! I said, right now!" conversation in the grocery store.

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  4. giveawayhound

    I agree that parents need to follow through on what they say and kids need to learn that there are consequences for their actions. I haven't really followed this story that closely, so I'm not going to comment on this father's actions, but I will say, it's not something I could ever see myself doing.

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  5. @kymnasium

    I watched this guy last week and honestly what I feel…This is the way he thought was best & effective way to handle his daughter. Was it right to me, no! she is only 15 going on 16 spoiled or not. I ask myself what would I have done. I even reasoned with myself after watching the video, I feel they both are frustrated,angry & feelings have been hurt. I know when I am fed up I feel all of those, but to shoot her laptop though is something I wouldn't do, not because I don't own a gun or that the laptop is expensive, but it wouldn't solve anything anyway, he is probably getting lots of response, she as a kid is probably feeling even more pressure now, the situation is getting bigger and probably uncontrollable. The question is what are they doing to get back on track??? showing a kid that you can shoot a computer is not gonna help.
    The kids are different now a days, life is different, but there is also lots of help available as well to us for almost every problem a child or parent has. Sometimes we as parents think we are law & we know how best to handle it, when really a person outside of the situation can see better and help more than we can. I think that he should have tried to get outside help. Shooting a computer! wheres the lesson in that? I know some kids who grow up without a computer, she will be the same, but will it fix her feelings? will it fix their relationship? I think she will act out more. God bless that family I really hope they get help and move forward together.

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  6. Spring Ross

    I think that parents have to be especially careful of the things they do or say, out of frustration. I think this father was frustrated and probably had been frustrated with his daughters behavior online for awhile. His way of dealing with it was too much, there are other ways, and frankly this wasn't the right one. As far as threats and punishment, and all of that things? Well nobody should ever be humiliated. If that humilliated his daughter, that didn't make the point he was trying to make, it made a situation worse. As far as respect goes, I believe its taught, earned, and also based in a good relationship all around. The daughter also shouldn't ever humilliate the father.

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  7. @GallowayLeslie

    My husband and I were talking about this the other day, and we both feel that a lot of the difference in how you feel about this is in what setting you grew up in. We both grew up in the country where guns are commonplace, and are not viewed as inherently violent, but are more utilitarian or even sporting. He grew up shooting skeet at a friend's farm. People who were raised in more urban areas view guns as very violent and associate them with criminals.

    While his reaction was maybe a little over-dramatic, I do not see it as violent. I just see it as a way to destroy her laptop in a way that will get her attention and crystallize the moment in her mind. I seriously doubt this child was scarred.

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  8. Austin Baroudi

    Growing up I didn't get much from my parents. Everything I have and had I had to buy myself but even so I've always treated them with respect. I didn't badmouth them or anything because I knew that even know they never got me anything like a phone or a computer they still loved me and took care of me. I had plenty of chores too. I didn't like them all the time but I did them with no fus. That girl to me is the typical spoiled teen that we have nowadays. She doesn't appreciate anything that's done for her. If I was given a laptop and stuff for doing chores I would glady do them, no questions asked. I think the dad was right in what he did and now maybe that girl will have learned her lesson to respect the people who care for you and not to take what you have for granted. Shooting the laptop was a little over the top to me but I guess it's whatever he thought he had to do to get the mssage across.

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  9. Sarah Blake

    I am disgusted with how he acted. Did he get his point across? Sure. But at what cost? As someone else said, respect is EARNED and he certainly isn't earning his daughter's respect. All teen girls rant about their parents and often, excessively. Maybe she shouldn't have posted what she did and should have been punished, but this is disgusting. A laptop holds a lot of personal information and memories. Maybe she writes on it, has her school work on it, has photos, etc. To just destroy her personal property is repulsive to me. When she turns 18 and leaves the nest, I can't blame her if she never talks to these people again.

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  10. Jara

    I agree that discipline should have certainly been taken, I was raised in a very hard working, and stricter way and I absolutely love my parents for teaching me and raising me the way they did. Like was mentioned in another comment, I would never myself take this action though.

    Reply

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